Not wanting to miss an opportunity to show the president’s still got it, White House officials released a 5 minute audio of Joe Biden eviscerating an intern who interrupted a national security briefing in the most eloquent King’s English you’d ever heard. The exchange was released on the White House’s official Twitter account, simply captioned “What stutter? 👀”
In the audio, President Joe Biden can he heard screaming in parsable, clear-spoken language that if he interrupted another meeting he’d be cleaning the gunk out of peep show booths, and that’s if he were feeling generous. When reached for comment the scorned intern said, “The vigor in which I was told to go fuck myself and the horse I rode in on came from a guy whose clearly capable of telling people and their property to go fuck themselves for at least four more years. Possibly even five.” He continued, “I know two things after today, that I’m and idiot who needs to be sodomized in a Hanoi prison camp… and Joe Biden, 81 years young, still has the goods.”
Later, according to Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, Biden roundhouse-kicked a man using a leaf blower outside of his bedroom window, “like a violent psychopath only half his age.”
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