While Jared Kushner was gone for the day causing a random spike in the homeless crisis, Ivanka and Donald Trump spent some much-needed alone time on Father’s Day. After a nice brunch she took him back to her penthouse to give him his gift. Ivanka blindfolded her father and led him to a secluded guest bedroom. Then, she took off his mask, revealing (fully clothed) a 70-story high rise (fully clothed) that she purchased for him… having not removed a single article of clothing.
“It’s fine,” Donald said afterward. “I just… I… It’s fine.” Over the next 30 minutes Ivanka gave a powerpoint presentation on the new building and all the amenities within it, which include an entire floor to run a fraudulent university and enough SCIF capability to start a civil war. Trump continued, “I’m not saying that it’s a bad gift, but it just feels a little impersonal. Every year it’s like ‘Here’s a new Mercedes. Here’s a new black site to torture people in,’ I just wish she knew me a little better.”
However, his spirits quickly lifted when he remembered next week is “Daughter’s Day” in the Trump household, where he plans to give her free foot massage and a Peloton with a subscription that runs through Father’s Day 2025.
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