Don’t: Look me in the eyes without announcing it beforehand.
This is a direct threat to his status as the Alpha.
Don’t: Get catcalled by construction workers.
This is the epitome of cliche but he will not defend you and just assume you were being a little hussy who deserved it.
Don’t: Slaughter ethnic minorities from third-world nations.
Jonah hates it when girlfriends do this.
Don’t: Leave one ounce of milk in the jug after pouring a bowl of cereal so you can justify not going to the market after work because you didn’t technically “finish the gallon.”
This one’s okay.
Don’t: Be attractive to anyone. Not even me.
Looking nice in any context is just rubbing it in his face.
Don’t: Leave your toothbrush at my place. In fact, don’t even bring a toothbrush at all. Use mine so we can bond on a purely bacterial level.
Jonah’s a stone cold freak for this.
Don’t: Reveal to the world that I’m a possessive, insecure little man.
He’s done a lot of work to build his confident, devil-may-care persona and this could undermine all of that.
Do: Me (lol)
There’s a reason he’s one of the highest paid comedic actors of all time.
