Timothée Chalamet has taken the world by storm in 2024. Both on screen and off he has shown the world what a modern movie star is capable of and we all stand as witnesses to his greatness. However, during an anonymous interview, one cowardly actor tried to extinguish his light when he said working with Timothée was “Just okay.”
During the now infamous interview, the actor went on to say even though he hit his marks and said his lines, it didn’t feel like he elevated his co-stars in a way you’d expect from an undoubtedly talented artist. He did note that he seemed a little hungover, and he was only on set for a short while.
“Looking into Timothée’s caring yet mysterious eyes is like peering into the mind of God, and saying anything less than that is basically a war crime,” said Searchlight CEO Matthew Greenfield. “We’re going to make sure that fucking philistine can never hurt Timothée ever again, so we are offering one million dollars to anyone who finds and kills that man.”
Later, after his identity was leaked, the Wonka extra skipped town and sought refuge with the FBI field office in Denver, only to be killed by an agent who’d heard of his less-than-effusive praise for the highly breedable, multi-talented, once-in-a-generation artist. When reached for comment, the agent simply advised everyone to go see “A Complete Unknown” which is in theaters everywhere on Christmas day.
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