Aiming to set an example of ethical leadership, California Governor, Gavin Newsom, has led the charge in his new directive against homelessness by showing up to an encampment and dragging the first screaming derelict from his shelter with his bare hands. “I think it’s important to show that you’re not making other people do things you’re not willing to do yourself,” Newsom said as he spat in the face of the struggling addict scrambling to collect his belongings, “and that’s why I’m here: to show officials you can do pretty much whatever you want to ‘em. Seriously, they’re not real people, have at it.” Newsom proceeded to assure the man that his suffering would not be in vain, as this would likely increase his odds of becoming the president down the road by a point or two.
Later, Newsom welcomed the first batch of California’s unhoused to their new permanent home by kicking them off the Venice Pier into the Pacific like Leonidas in “300.”
_____________________________________________________________
