Narrowly escaping the missile silo with full use of his dominant arm, IDF soldier Yair Mizrahi was rushed to the hospital after pressing the button that murders everybody several hundred times a day, causing an acute pain that could have fucking killed him. “In normal situations we would only need to kill everybody a few times a year, just to keep people on their toes,” said an Air Force commander who was at the scene, “but after 10/7 it’s been our prime directive to kill everybody, everywhere, all the time.” He went on to note that this all comes at a cost, both to the American taxpayers and to people like Yair, who will be in a sling for 3-5 days at minimum. “When people say the IDF aren’t real soldiers because they we don’t engage in first hand combat, it’s people like Yair who you’re diminishing. People who won’t be able to play video games after their shift or remotely kill hundreds of people with the press of a button for almost a week while he rests per the doctor’s orders. So shame on you.”
Later, Yair returned to work after realizing he could kill everybody pressing buttons with his left hand with the exact same inefficiency.
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