"It flies good." –Wojciech Kowalski, Sales Associate
To be fair, this was said by a new hire that hadn’t been briefed on the company’s history yet.
"We made the 737 Max." –Peter Schmidt, Regional President
With how many times the average Boeing project gets outsourced it’s statistically more likely that you made it.
"The wings and jet engine work together to make the plane fly." –Sean O'Sullivan, Mechanic
Every successful Boeing flight is a miracle that science hasn’t been able to fully explain yet.
"The merger with McDonnell Douglas helped us reduce costs for consumers." –Dave Calhoun, CEO
The only thing that has reduced cost in the last 30 years has been the probability that you won’t live to see the return trip.
"We like to offer in-cabin and out-of-cabin entertainment on our planes." –Amanda Taylor, Flight Operations
Unfortunately, the sparks coming from the engine are not part of a planned pyrotechnic show.
"Everything's going to be fine." Emily Robinson, Flight Attendant
Might as well just kill yourself if a Boeing employee tells you this.
"Help! There's a Sasquatch man tearing apart the wing! Somebody stop him before he rips it off!" –Random Passenger
Don’t let them gaslight you. They say this every time they forget to add the correct number of wings.
"We've found a slightly faster route through the center of the earth." –David Thomas, Pilot
Pilots are taught to say this and not, “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
"God loves you." –Oscar Rodriguez, Boeing Chaplain
If that were true you wouldn’t be sitting in an airborne crematorium.
"The Boeing 737 Max is a reminder that we are living in the end-stages of a capitalistic hellscape where the innate lack of humanity in our profit-driven corporate culture is causing all of society to rip apart at the seams, and us as individuals along with it." –David Thomas, Quality Control Specialist
We’re actually only in the middle stages of this capitalistic hellscape.
