In a stunning turn of events and a first in the history of American politics, Hunter Biden became the first son of a sitting president to endorse a rival candidate, saying, “Please guys, this whole thing is messing with the hookers’ vibes, I just want to smoke crack and tap ass in the most zen environment possible. Please elect Donald Trump and let me smoke crack cocaine in peace, once again.” He then added, “Climate Change is important, and I like what my father has done to help mitigate the effects while maintaining energy independence with native oil production, however breathable air pales in comparison to breathable cocaine, and you can’t really enjoy either with conservative psychopaths following you around all day.”
Later, the Hunter ranted about the falling unemployment rate under his father and how this has dwindled the pool of quality hookers to hang out and do narcotics with, complicating matters even further.
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