While acknowledging that America had some fallen soldiers worth remembering, former president Donald Trump wanted to make sure he recognized one real hero on Memorial Day: the foot doctor that saved his life. “Bone spurs he called them bone spurs, we didn’t even know what they were. I think he was just looking around the room and started naming things he could see in his office. They do great work these family doctors that ensure only the poor people go to war. Poor people are a lot scrappier, that’s why we send them instead.” He then acknowledged that the kid who went to fight in Vietnam in his place probably survived, statistically speaking, but added, “Who knows, though, they were great fighters those Vietcong, they could hopped out of one of those tiny little holes they hid in and cut him wide open, killed him on the spot. His family could still be alive, thinking about him today. Crazy world. So thank you, doctors. Your service will always be remembered.”
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