"Are we in a political ad?"
That’s not the line, but yes.
"I'm so sorry it's just this basketball I've eaten isn't digesting properly."
Basketballs are notoriously hard to pass through a GI tract so this won’t raise any follow-up questions.
"If it's all the same to you I'd rather just rid myself of this commie baby that an illegal immigrant put in me to collect welfare money from taxpayers."
Congratulations! You’ve won a free police escort to California.
"Sorry for speeding but I'm late to my school shooting."
Oh man he would totally be a hero and stop you but he just remembered it’s his lunch break right now.
"Officer, it's not your fault... It's not your fault. Look at me... it's not your fault."
Every police officer is psychologically predisposed to crying when they get the Good Will Hunting treatment. Now you just have to smack him with the driver side door and book it for the state line.
"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I've got promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep... and miles to go before I sleep.
This will either activate him to carry out an assassination or you’ll spend the next few hours discussing Robert Frost and the beauty of rural American existence.
"White... uhhhh power?"
This is what we call fishing with dynamite in the biz.