After swerving to miss a drifting grocery bag it mistook to be a raccoon, the autopilot of the Tesla Cybertruck brought itself into the ditch where it harmlessly collided with an old pine tree. Due to its indestructible design, the force of the impact transferred from the bumper to the hood without impediment, made its way through the engine block and into the vehicle’s interior, whereupon the sole occupant, James Edwards, popped like a water balloon on the 4th of July.
“It didn’t even make a dent,” said the disembodied spirit of the freshly liquified driver, “I mean, if I could re-congeal from the sludge of human remains in the cabin, I’d be able to drive it home to my wife and children.” Edwards went on to lament on how even though he’s going to miss his family, he’s just grateful they wont have to deal with a messy car insurance claim while organizing his funeral.
Before vanishing into the unknown, James’ ethereal soul marveled at the efficiency of Tesla’s cleaning crew for how they were able to power wash the interior and return the Cybertruck to his family, all before dinner was served.
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👇 Poor Financial Decision 👇
