Trump V. Jumbo Shrimp
“The Don” reportedly concussed himself trying to conceptualize something being both “jumbo” and “shrimp” at the same time. He’s been sensitive to light ever since.
Paternity suit with Cracker Barrel waitress
If your job is anything less glamorous than eastern European sex worker then Trump will deny any children he may or may not have with you.
Lawsuit against a Holocaust survivor
The 93-year-old survivor’s appearance on his property was so unsettling to him he sued her for $2 million. To help mitigate future accidents he created a separate, budget-friendly quarters for Jewish families that will be monitored by his personal security team 24/7.
Trump V. United States
The country that made an unqualified game show host its leader for 4 years due to an arcane election rule that was originally meant to increase the political power of slave owners has treated this billionaire pedophile more unfairly than any person in American history… according to a recent court filing.
Kyrgyzstan suing Trump administration over failed coup attempt
To be fair, it was brilliant strategy doing a dry run in a country Americans can’t pronounce.
Trump V. Trump
Possibly the result of a clerical error but the Trump team is determined to make the Trump team pay for what they’ve done.
Damages against favorite Epstein Island victim
She built a raft and sailed off the island in the dead of night and Trump has been trying to recoup the cost of his trip ever since.
Trump V. Diet Coke
Not a slam dunk case like some of the others but 40 years of overconsumption is the scientific community’s best explanation for why he’s like this.
