"8-inch Heels?"
"I'm going to commit massive, undeniable voter fraud."
"I'm goin to march down to Mar-a-Lago, get in a room with Trump, and cry at his feet until he gives me 10% of his voters."
"Get an official endorsement from fellow Clemson alum, Deshaun Watson."
"No. Pec implants."
"Remind Republican voters how good it will feel to allow a woman to place a respectable 3rd in a few minor primaries."
"Have my speechwriters come up with an alternate alternate reality for right-wing voters to inhabit."
"Reassure voters that even as president I will still be just a woman taking orders from the men who actually run the world."
"Hire a new teeth showing coach. Voters love it when other politicians show off their mouth bones, but not when I do it for some reason."
"I'm going to kneecap a blue-haired liberal arts major with my Bren 2 MS Carbine to show I am not fucking around."
"I’m going to pay a few interns to claim we had sex to reassure voters that I’m a man with human genitals under these slacks and not an asexually reproducing Ron DeSantis breed of alien from the vicinity of Betelgeuse."
"I will strike the perfect balance between antisemitism and Islamophobia that right-wing voters are yearning for."
