CHARLOTTE, NC — In an effort to combat harmful narratives about domestic abuse, Charlotte Hornets General Manager, Mitch Kupchak, is reportedly willing to let Miles Bridges punch his own wife to show that it’s not always as bad as it sounds. “I think one of the biggest challenges in rostering domestic abusers,” Kupchak started, “is that fans don’t get to see exactly how the moment played out. So when a police report reads that so-and-so player—let’s say an athletic 6’7″ wing who can defend all 5 positions at a high level—punched his wife in front of their children and then dragged her unconscious body into another room, it leaves a lot up to the imagination.”
Kupchack has received his fair share of criticism over the last year for not releasing Bridges after his arrest for domestic violence, but he wants people to know that there’s no one-size-fits-all for these moments. “This situation is a little different because, sure, he connected his hand area to his wife’s head and neck area, but he also violated a restraining order to see her a couple of months later, which is kinda cute if you think about it.”
He went on to say that standard practices are for standard organizations and that the NBA’s Eastern Conference Southeast Division 4th runner-up is far from average.
“So the next time the media is trying to spoon-feed you a narrative about player X punching wife Y, ask yourself, ‘Okay… but how hard? And in what context? And do they have an adequate rim-running replacement with a 48″ vertical that pairs perfectly with your superstar point guard and your accessory-to-murder small forward?’ If the answers are ‘I don’t know’ ‘I wasn’t there’ and ‘no, definitely not’ then maybe keep your criticisms about what the general manager should do to yourself. Now shut up and watch my wife get punched.”
